Devil’s Dictionary for High Tech

Devil’s Dictionary for High Tech

高科技的魔鬼词典

The Devil’s dictionary is a book created in the early 20th century by American Ambrose Bierce containing sarcastic, ironic and witty re-definitions of words. e.g

PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

Back in 2009, I took this concept and wrote a set of high-tech oriented definitions, entitled – you guessed it – Devil’s Dictionary for High Tech.

This is a repost of those definitions along with some modified and new ones to freshen things up a bit.

Which ones are your favourites? Let me know in the comments below.

Enjoy!

Saeed

Agile: n. A philosophy of project management where long term planning is replaced by short term thinking.

敏捷开发:名词,项目管理的一种理念,在于长期的计划被短期的思考所替代。

Bug Scrub: n. A meeting aimed at deciding which product issues can be swept under the carpet without too many people noticing.

Bug清洗:名词,一个针对在没有太多人注意的情况下,决定把产品问题掩盖起来的会议。

Cloud Computing: n. A nice alliteration for an externally hosted computing model, created by people who felt that the term “IaaS” was just too ridiculous to say in any professional setting.

云计算:名词,一个针对外部计算机托管模式的押韵说法,被那些感觉用“laaS”这个词以任何专业的形式说出来都太可笑的人创建。

Competitive Analysis: v. The act of simultaneously underestimating your competitors weaknesses and overestimating your own strengths.

竞争分析:动词,知道你的竞争对手劣势和过高估计自己优势的同步行为。

CRM system: n. A database full of opinion and incomplete information used as a key source of input for managing relationships and creating sales projections.

CRM系统:名词,一个充满了意见和不完整信息的数据库,被用来作为管理关系输出和创建销售预测的关键资源。

Customer Council: n. A small # of Strategic Accounts whose influence on product futures is proportional to their budgets.

客户委员会:名词,一种小#的战略客户,会影响产品的未来以及与之相对应的预算。

Customer Development: v. a startup’s search for early customers whose minimal needs are only matched by the startup’s current minimally functional product.

客户开发:动词,一种针对早期客户的早期寻找,客户最小的需要只是被早期的当前最低限度功能的产品所匹配。

Easter Egg: n. Hidden code invoked by secret means that pays tribute to the awesomeness of the application’s developers

复活节彩蛋:名词,通过秘密手段来隐藏被召唤的代码,只是为了夸赞应用程序开发者了不起。

First Customer Ship: n. The phase in which a small set of eager customers, unbeknownst to them, join the QA team.

首发:名词,在这个阶段,一小群热心的客户在不知情的情况下加入到QA团体中。

Freemium n. A pricing model used by people when they haven’t figured out how to build something that all customers would pay for.

免费模式:名词,当他们一直无法规划出如何才能想出让所有客户都付费的时候,这种价格模式就被采用了。

Heroics: n. The Sales Methodology most often cited by salespeople as their reason for winning big deals.

夸张演说:名词,一种经常被销售人员引用去赢得大单子的销售方法。

iPhone: n. A wildly popular mobile device whose phone has a feature that makes it dead easy to terminate a phone call by accidentally touching or brushing the screen during the call.

iPhone:名词,当你在通话过程中,具备意外触摸或者滑动屏幕时,易于让电话死机并中断通话特征的一种疯狂流行的移动电话设备。

Lead generation: v. The art of finding people interested enough in a product to give their names and contact information, but not interested enough to actually buy it.

潜在客户开发:动词,一种发现人们对产品足够有兴趣并给他们名字和联系方式,但不对他们事实购买感兴趣的行为。

Marketing: v. The art of getting others to believe exaggerations about you that you likely don’t believe about yourself.

营销:动词,让其他人去相信很可能连你自己都不相信的夸大之词的艺术。

Market Sensing: v. The fine art of talking to others to understand how your bosses perceive the market.

市场感觉:动词,告诉其他人明白你的老板是如何察觉市场的精细艺术。

Minimum Viable Product: n. A set of product functionality that can best be described by the following phrase: “Well, it’s the least we could do.”

最小可行性产品:名词,一组能够被以下语言“好的,至少我们能够做”最好的描述出来的产品功能。

Nightly Build: n. The overnight compilation of all new bugs introduced the prior day.

每日构建:名词,依据前一天所有新的bug而通宵编译。

Post-mortem: n. A post-release process improvement meeting whose findings are usually ignored until the subsequent post-mortem.

事后剖析:名词,一种发布后的会议过程,旨在改善结果,而这些结果通常是被忽略的,直到下一个事后剖析。

Pivot: n. A change in company strategy enacted to appease the upset Board of Directors who approved the prior failed strategy.

核心:名词,在公司内改变所制定的战略,旨在满足心烦意乱的董事会所核准的前期失败战略。

Positioning: v. The dying art of strategic puffery used to gain a place of residence in the minds of generally uninformed prospects.

定位:动词,战略吹捧的上色艺术,通常用来在无知的潜在客户心中获得一席之地。

Product Issues: n. The reason given by the sales team for a lost deal when the competitor’s aggressive price-cutting was not the issue.

产品问题:名词,当竞争者的积极消价不是问题的时候,销售团队为了一个丢掉的单子而给出的原因。

Product Management: n. A strategic forward-looking department in a company mandated by lack of adequate staffing to focus on short-term tactical activities.

产品管理:名词,公司内的一个被关注短期战术活动的,缺乏胜任能力的人员所托管的具有战略和远见的部门。

Product Roadmap: n. A highly-speculative document of little substance but much value, especially during negotiations with Strategic Accounts.

产品路线图:名词,一个有很多价值但缺乏实物的高度推测性文档,尤其是在和战略客户谈判的时期。

Product Vision: n. An idealistic future view of a product typically derived while in a state of Utopia Myopia.

产品愿景:名词,一个产品理想化的未来视野,典型的基于乌托邦的状态得到。

Refactoring: v. The act of completely rewriting working code to enable hypothetical improvements to be made to it sometime in the future. A favourite task of most software developers.

代码重构:动词,完全改写工作代码的行为,假设在未来的某个时候能够改善。大多数软件开发者极度喜欢的工作。

Release Candidate: n. Like a political candidate, far from perfect, but likely to annoy the least number of people.

候选版本:名词,像一个政治候选人,远非完善,但看起来至少可以去骚扰一些人。

Release Date: n. The day before the first installation or licensing bug is reported by a customer.

发布日期:名词,在首次安装或者批准的bug被一个客户报告前的日子。

Requirement: n. A statement of need by a Product Manager, seen as a loose suggestion by Development, and as a firm commitment by Sales.

需求:名词,一份产品经理的需要说明,被开发视为一份不精确的建议,被销售视为确定的承诺。

Research Firms: n. Companies that provide CYA services to buyers via simple diagrams and expensive reports. Also applies to Management Consultants.

研究公司:名词,通过简单的图表和昂贵的报告向购买者提供编造借口服务的公司。也适用于管理咨询公司。

SAAS: n. Same Applications Available by Subscription.

SAAS:名词,通过订购,得到一样的有效应用。

Sales: v. The art of turning leads into gold.

销售:动词,带来金子的艺术。

Sales Club: n. A disincentive program for non-sales employees who make significant contributions but aren’t likewise rewarded with a trip to an exotic location.

销售俱乐部:名词,对于非销售人员的抑制计划,他们做出了重大的贡献,但却没有到异国他乡旅游的同样奖赏。

Sales Forecast: n. Proof that throwing darts can be used for more than simply deciding which stocks to buy.

销售预测:名词,证明在购买哪一只股票上,通过投掷飞镖的方式要超过简单的决定。

Sales Kickoff: n. 3 nights of intense inebriation mixed with 3 days of intense sleep deprivation. Some business transpires.

销售启动:名词,3个晚上的强烈陶醉和3个白天的强烈睡眠不足的混合。一些企业存在。

Sales Methodology: n. Once implemented, allows a company to believe sales people will actually follow a standard process. See Heroics.

销售方法:名词,一旦实施,就会让公司相信销售人员将真的遵循标准的过程。见Heroics(夸张演说)。

Social Media: n. An electronic communication medium aimed at “connecting” people with each other while simultaneously minimizing actual human contact.

社会化媒体:名词,一种电子化的媒体,旨在“联络”一个人和另一个人,并同时伴随着让真实的人类联络的最小化。

Social Networking: v. The opposite of anti-social networking.

社会化网络:动词,反社会化网络的反义词。

Software Architecture: n. The technical underpinning of software systems and the chief roadblock to making major improvements to them. See also: Refactoring.

软件架构:名词,软件系统的技术基础,也是进行主要改进的首要障碍。也见:Refactoring(代码重构)。

Strategic Account: n. A customer with lots of money to spend, usually on things that are not core to your business. Often a member of a Customer Council.

战略客户:名词,一个有很多钱去花,并通常在你的商业上的某些事不是核心的客户。经常是客户委员会的一个成员。

Software upgrade: n. A work creation program for the Technical Support team.

软件升级:名词,为技术支持团队创建程序的工作。

Tablets: n. small, sophisticated touch sensitive computing devices, whose primary purpose is to allow temperamental birds to seek revenge on harmless looking pigs.

平板电脑:名词,小的,复杂的,灵敏触摸的计算设备,主要的目的是让愤怒的小鸟向无辜的,看上去像猪的东西进行报复。

Technical Support team: n. The group with the most customer and product exposure but with the least say in customer and product decisions.

技术支持团队:名词,这个群体拥有最多的客户和公开的产品,但却拥有最少的客户沟通和产品的决策。

Trade Show: n. A gathering of like-minded people all seeking knowledge of the best free giveaways on the show floor.

贸易展览:名词,有着在展厅中搜寻最好免费样品知识这样志同道合的人的集会。

Undercut by Competitor: n. The most common reason salespeople cite for the failure of Heroics.

被竞争对手削弱:名词,销售人员为夸张演说失败所引用的最常见的原因。

Usability: n. The first thing customers experience and virtually the last thing developers think about.

可用性:名词,客户经历的第一件事,同时事实上是开发人员认为的最后一件事。

Utopia Myopia: n. The condition of only seeing ideal outcomes and ignoring all other data. The opposite of analysis paralysis.

乌托邦近视:名词,只看见想法输出的条件,而忽视了所有其它的数据。欠缺分析的对立面。

Voice of the Customer: n. the collective needs of a broad subset of existing customers, usually drowned out by the individual needs of a small set of important prospects.

客户之声:名词,现有客户中的一个广泛子集的共同需要,通常被一小群重要的潜在客户的个体需要所淹没。

Waterfall: n. A project management methodology that keeps project managers in the spotlight, while simultaneously keeping virtually everyone else in the dark.

瀑布开发:名词,一种持续让项目经理处于聚光灯中,然而又同时几乎让每个人暗淡无光的项目管理方法。

Win/Loss Analysis: n. An unnecessary analysis as Wins are due to sales rep Heroics, and Losses due to Product Issues and being Undercut by Competition.

盈亏分析:名词,赢是因为销售代表的夸张演说,亏是因为产品问题和被竞争对手削弱,这样一种没有必要的分析。

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